Writing the Light and Shade of What We Become

I like to think of Ben Langley as, at his core, a strong character. Physically he could hold his own, having trained in martial arts, and he was a loyal friend, brother, and father. It was only when he became entangled in a chaotic relationship that his fragility began to surface – slowly at first, then completely – until the consequences finally unravelled him.

Even the toughest of us are not immune to what Ben endured. Some people find their way through trauma; others simply cannot reconcile themselves with a hurt so deep that it reshapes everything around them.

In What We Become, I wanted to explore the nature of depression – the pathways into the forest where each turn grows darker, where the trail thins until there is no clear way back. Some might say Ben wasn’t looking for resolution, that happiness was the last thing on his mind. But in truth, it was happiness that drove him: a past he cherished, a glimmer of meaning that made life still worth living for.

Setting most of the story in Thailand was an easy decision. The country’s contrasts mirror Ben’s own internal landscape: the calm and the storm, the beauty and the chaos. The generosity of the people, the tranquillity of temples, the richness of the landscapes – all meeting the noise of the cities, the claustrophobic tourism, the unexpected sights and smells that overwhelm the senses. Taking Ben on a journey through this vibrant place allowed each step to add another layer to his mental crisis, presenting him with choices – good and bad – that could have altered his fate at any moment. Writing those crossroads felt like an adventure in itself.

Having found myself in Ben’s shoes at several points in my own life, I was able to seamlessly connect with him, and although he can be an unlikable character at times, he became a very good friend to me, one I carried with me long after the final chapter was written.

I’m incredibly proud of What We Become. I poured time, heart, and emotion into crafting a story where I hope the reader can almost see the characters before them, as if they are looking through a window of their lives, and at times, even feel helpless to intervene.

I wanted to create something different from Towards the Within, leaving Sam where he was. There’s a certain poetry in that – the mystery of what might follow. But I still hoped to give readers another emotional journey, one they could lean into, connect with, and feel. Writing believable characters – with conviction, with tenderness, with flaws – remains my favourite part of the process. My hope is that they linger long after the book is closed.

---

What We Become is available from Amazon